In the Art of Rhetoric course, I wrote my first college essay based on the question: why would Olin College be a good fit for me?  The purpose of this piece was to learn how to write a college essay, so that the admissions office may deeply understand who I am.

I wrote my essay and shared with the class in order to get feedback and make it better. I learned that rhetoric elements (logos, ethos and pathos) are very needed in college essays. I tried my best to include all of these elements because, when you have all of them in one piece of writing, it’s proven to be good.

Excerpts from my Essay

In my life I have faced difficult times in a refugee camp in Tanzania. The camp was the hardest part of my life because I didn’t have access to a lot of stuff. I was lucky to move here to the United States 4 years ago. Five years ago I didn’t believe that I could go to college because I couldn’t leave the refugee camp or afford college. College is in the road and I always  wanted to be prepared for it as soon as possible.  The puzzling part for most high school students is the college decision that is right and good for you.  In the process of searching colleges, I looked at ten other engineering  colleges  and compared them. I am an engineering person because it had been my dreams to change the world, at least this is what I can give back.  It was hard to determine which college would be best for me and my learning skills because where I am from I didn’t even have these options. The importance of this was to make sure that I would get to accomplish my goal of being a successful engineer.

Olin College stood out to me because of its specific learning style and class size, which is similar to the high school I currently attend, Global Citizen Experience (GCE) in Chicago. At GCE, I learn better than I have in other schools. The reason for that is a small school. In Tanzania, couldn’t learn because there was a lot to think about and were large class. I did not have the chance to build-up a good relationship with a teacher. At GCE, I experience one-on-one attention which helps me feel comfortable with learning and builds my desire to understand. Getting to collaborate or share ideas in class is what I believe works for me and  takes me to the next level of learning.

What I can offer to Olin College, is my natural leadership, I usually take responsibility whether at school, out of school, or at home. When I was little boy, I led a team of kids to learn how to hunt. We were 7 years old when I asked and they chose to follow me. They made me into a self confident boy and after that I started to open up to people, still growing. That day was the day I figured that leading and bringing passion to a community was in my instinct.  There are more experiences that Olin College would like to hear or have and I also think that I can learn new things. Olin College is right for me because it speaks to me, I could reach far beyond my dreams and imagination. I would have no doubt that my goals in education can succeed. I fit in this college because engineering and small colleges are in love with me and I am also in love.